I've Seen Better Days
by BeatleBomb
Summary: Ichigo finds that being a captain has its ups and downs... in his case, mostly downs. The sequel to my one shot, He's the Very Model of A Modern Major Captain. IchiRuki DISCONTINUED
1. Complaints

Hey hey everyone. Due to popular demand (and by popular, I mean 18 people), I've continued my one-shot, He's the Very Model of a Modern Major Captain. Personally, I think this one sucks so much more than my first story, but whatever. I'll be posting new chapters from time to time. I'm making up the story as I wrte, haha, that's why it may seem terrible. But, once again, please leave your sweet, honest, brutal reviews. Peace out!

**Disclaimer**: Me no owny Bleachy, Tite Kubo does.

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"You're freaking kidding me."

Rukia Kuchiki sighed at her captain as the two walked down the hallway leading from 1st Division's meeting room. Ichigo Kurosaki had only been captain for about a week and he was already getting sick of the job. His current assignment was to train a fresh new batch of shinigami, straight from the academy. He didn't like the idea, however, because he said it would just be a waste of time.

"Like hell I'm going to go spend my time teaching kids how to fight!"

"Ichigo, stop being so stubborn and just accept what you've been given."

"No way! I strictly refuse to instruct a bunch of sword wielding toddlers that'll probably end up killing themselves before they see any real action!"

"Don't be so cold, they need you! They hardly know any combat skills, and the closest they've been to real fighting is learning about it in their classes!"

"Hey, it's not my fault that they're all stupid weaklings. You know, I don't know why they can't just get out sent out somewhere, like the 80th Rukon District, and make themselves stronger. You know, toughen them up. Get a taste of the real world."

"Because they could get themselves KILLED, dumbass!"

"So what? They're probably going to die anyways when we invade Hueco Mundo."

"Don't say th-" Ichigo stuffed a sock in her mouth… his sock… straight from his foot… She spat it out, and disgustedly gave it back to Ichigo. Seeing how grossed out she was, Ichigo continued.

"Now, let me finish Rukia. The Hueco Mundo invasion is in four years and we'll be facing hundreds, if not thousands, of Arrancar. This war has no use for green soldiers who can barely wield a sword, let alone swing one. It's like handing someone a gun and hoping they shoot the enemy without injuring anyone else. It's retarded! Four years isn't enough to get someone to Arrancar-fighting level. We're better off with experienced shinigami already in the Gotei 13." Ichigo rubbed his chin a bit with his right hand as a he spoke. "If you ask me, we should either just spend our time training the people we already have, or turn everyone into Vizards." Ichigo inhaled deeply after he had said "Vizards".

"We need as many people as we can get Ichigo. Aizen's army heavily outnumbers our own, and trying to turn everyone into hollows on purpose is just too dangerous."

Getting another big swiff of air, the tired-out captain continued explaining his reasons. It'd be a cold day in hell before he allowed Rukia to get the last word in an argument.

"But releasing their inner hollow is the only way that we can get them strong enough in such a short amount of time. If we continue what we're doing right now, we won't stand a chance against Aizen. However, if we change them, as well as everyone else, into Vizards, we could have a good chance of beating him."

"Though you bring up good points, the other captains and lieutenants will agree that it is _still_ too much of a risk to be tampering with that kind of power, especially with novices."

"Hey, I went through that process, and I turned out fine."

"You're just special, Ichigo." Rukia replied annoyingly.

"What's that supposed to mean, short round?" Ichigo inquired angrily.

"Don't call me short."

"C'mon, tell me half-pint!"

Ichigo knew she would break eventually.

"All right, that's it! I was _trying_ to be nice, but since you're such a jerk about it, nyeh!" she said sticking her tongue out.

"God, even your tongue is short." he retorted, sticking his own tongue out as well.

"Oh ha ha, very mature Ichigo." she said with her tongue hanging out, slurring most of her speech.

Doing the same thing, the frustrated strawberry retaliated. "At least I'm tall enough to be _called _mature."

Rukia almost bit her lips off from pure anger. "You know, you can be such an ass sometimes!"

"Don't call me an ass, ya midget."

"Don't call me a midget, you pig headed bastard!"

A pulsating vein had now appeared on both of the officers' forehead.

"Midget!"

"Bastard!"

"Midget!"

"Bastard!"

The two were now literally butting heads as they walked along. They received many odd looks from the shinigami they passed, but neither of them noticed. They were both too busy thinking the same thing: "I can't lose this argument!"

"God, why do I put up with you?" Ichigo said, with arms crossed.

"I should be asking that, jerk." Rukia said as she glared at her captain.

"You know what, I think I _am_ going to teach those brats. At least it'll get me away from your bitchiness."

"I'm bitchy? Well excuse me, Mr. Too-lazy-to-show-a-bunch-of-kids-some-basic-skills-so-I'll-just-sit-on-my-ass-and-get-fatter-by-the-second-while-complaining-to-everyone-else."

"Psh, this from the girl who spent god knows how long sitting on my couch doing nothing but eating cookies and ramen and watching Chappy."

"Shut up! If I didn't love you so much I'd be-" Wait. Hold up. Go back a little bit.

Ichigo was staring wide eyed at his lieutenant. "Wh-what did you just sa-"

Rukia was now in a panic. She grabbed her captain's arm and ran, pulling him along. "NOTHING ICHIGO YOU'RE JUST HEARING THINGS! DON'T BE SILLY! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? YOU HAVE TO FINISH YOUR PAPERWORK AND GET READY FOR TOMORROW!!!!" Despite being so small, Rukia had a very strong grip. She was able to drag Ichigo all the way to his office without once loosening it or letting go. She did, however, knock down anything that was in their way, including several other shinigami, boxes, and a tree.

"HERE WE ARE, YOUR OFFICE! YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TONE DOWN THE DECORATIONS A BIT! IT LOOKS AS GAUDY AS CAPTAIN KYORAKU! WELL, WE MIGHT AS WELL GET TO-"

"Rukia, geez, just calm down! Damn! How can you move your mouth so fast?"

The screaming girl blushed a teensy bit and stopped. "I'm sorry Ichigo, it's just… I… just forgot, okay?" she said, forcing a smile.

"Uh… alright…" Ichigo replied, scratching the back of his head. "Look, we better finish our paperwork…"

Rukia wondered, "Something's wrong. Why isn't he interrogating me?" She kept smiling and spoke back. "Yeah, let's hurry up; we have to get well rested for tomorrow's recruits."

Ichigo was about to angrily protest to the latter suggestion, but just kept quiet. After spending around half an hour scribbling down words and names, they said "Good Night" to each other and Rukia left for the Kuchiki mansion. Ichigo walked into his room and laid down on his bed, but not before setting his alarm clock. He stared at the ceiling for some time before he actually shut his eyes. The gentle swaying of the trees outside the window and countless thoughts of a certain raven-haired lieutenant finally lulled him to sleep.

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**A/N:** So... what, crappy? Time-waster? Devil spawn? You decide. Please review! I need your criticism to become a less sucky writer... yeah... I know... sucky isn't even a word... :(

I just finished the Arrancar arc yesterday, haha. Scanlations ftw!


	2. Behind His Back

Special thanks to all my faithful reviewers who've been here since my first fic! (first and foremost, andraq, whose undying passion for my fics have made me feel all warm and cuddly inside. And of course, there's karenkate-kate, zenbon zakura, and patbackw409) Thanks for all the great reviews guys! Enjoy this smiley:D Sorry that I don't reply to your reviews, I'm

This chapter is basically a setup for the next chapter, that's why it's so short

**Disclaimer:** Grr… for the last time, I DON'T OWN BLEACH! BACK LAWYERS! BACK! HEEL!

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The sun shined brightly upon Soul Society. A large group of around thirty Shinigami Academy graduates were waiting in 3rd Division's training grounds for their captain to show up. The training area was located outside, right next to headquarters. There wasn't much to see, just a giant grass field and a few trees here and there. There was a smaller dueling area by the field that was covered in gravel, probably for better traction when running. The young shinigami group began to get restless and started complaining to one another.

"How long has it been?"

"I dunno, maybe five, ten minutes at the most."

"Damn, our captain is slow."

"Bastard"

"Don't swear, our teacher might be watching us."

"He wouldn't do that… would he?"

"Who is he anyways?"

"I think his name is… Karo… Koro… Kuro…"

"Ichigo Kurosaki?"

"Yeah! That's him!"

"Holy , THE Ichigo Kurosaki?"

"Why, what's so special about him?"

"Are you serious? You've never heard of Ichigo Kurosaki?"

"No, who is he?"

"Where the hell have you been?" He's the most famous ryoka in the Seireitei!"

The group was too busy talking about their captain that they didn't notice a tall orange haired shinigami join them.

"Wait, he's a ryoka? Then how did he become a shinigami?"

"What's wrong with this guy? Ichigo Kurosaki is a ryoka who came to Soul Society to stop Rukia Kuchiki's execution. He manag-"

"Rukia Kuchiki? Isn't she our lieutenant?"

"Yes, she is, now shut up. He managed to defeat four lieutenants, Renji Abarai, Marechiyo Ōmaeda, Isane Kotetsu and Chōjirō Sasakibe. He-"

"Isn't Renji Abarai captain of 5th Division?"

The story-telling shinigami was now twitching with anger. "Yes, he is, but he was a lieutenant back then which you would've heard me tell you if you kept your mouth shut! Now where was I. Oh yeah, back to the story. As I was saying, he beat all those lieutants and he even defeated Captain Zaraki _and_ Captain Kuchiki."

The group was murmuring to each other, clearly impressed.

"He also beat up a whole lot of shinigami grunts like us."

Everyone suddenly shivered with fear.

A random graduate popped up with a statement, "I heard that he was trained by those powerful Soul Society exiles, uh, Kisuke Urahara and Yoruichi Shihouin."

"The Flash Master herself?"

"Really? That's incredible!"

"Who's that Urahara guy?"

"I think he was the old 12th Division captain."

"12th? That demented whackjob of a division? Good god."

"I still thank god every day that I wasn't put in that psycho Kurotsuchi's unit."

"Yeah, that guy's one whacked up little… you get what I mean."

"Hopefully Captain Kuroskai isn't as wacko as he is."

"There's a rumor going on that he's also a Vizard, so maybe he is."

"Those hollow shinigamis?"

"Yeah."

"Enough of what he's done, what's this guy look like? A beast? A freak?" someone asked impatiently.

"I heard he's real handsome and tough looking." Several of the girls giggled.

"I wonder if he'd go out with me?" The girl that said this received many odd stares.

"You know he's a human, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So you're probably five times as old as he is."

"Well… I still _look_ young compared to a human!"

"Even though that may be true, my cousin in 13th Division told me that he's hooked up with Lieutnant Kuchiki."

"Awww… too bad, he sounds cute."

The brash young shinigami who started this conversation said, "Are you kidding? He's a total monster! He has the eyes of a demon, and the body of one too, and it's like his entire head is on fire!"

Someone spoke up in an annoyed tone. "That's being a bit harsh, isn't it?"

"No way! That's guy's hideous! If anything, I'm being too nice!"

"He's not like that. You're just being a dimwitted ass."

Pissed that someone was contradicting him, the story-teller said angrily, "Oh yeah? What makes you so sure? How do _you_ know what he's like?"

"Because he's me."

The tall orange haired shinigami took out his captain's haori from inside his robes and put them on. He walked up to the front, facing the stunned group and crossed his arms. With his famous scowl and annoyed expression, he announced, "The name's Ichigo Kurosaki and I'm your captain."

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**A/N: **Short little chappie... sucks... I'll put the next one REAL soon. 


	3. Police Academy

Wow… a lot of people like this fic… yay! lol. They said I couldn't do it, and by they, I mean that hobo outside McDonalds. Thanks again for all your delicious reviews guys! I ate every last one!

To get things straight, a lot of people have been notifying me about the whole Japanese name thing. To make it perfectly clear, I will NEVER use honorifics (i.e. san, kun, chan, sama, etc.), nor will I reverse the name order. (i.e. Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Rukia, Abarai Renji, etc.) It's not that I'm lazy… well… alright, it's partly because I'm lazy, but mostly because the whole thing confuses me.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach, but I do own this stylish swivel chair I'm comfortably planting my enormous butt on.

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_Previously on Bleach_

"_But I'm not Ichigo. I'm his evil twin… Ricardo!"_

_Gasp!_

"_Urahara… I'm carrying your baby."_

_DUN DUN DUN!_

"_We're the only ones that know the true identity of the killer!"  
_

_HOLY CRAP!_

"_There's a bomb underneath the car!"_

_WTF?!?!?!?!_

"_The name's Ichigo Kurosaki, and I'm your captain."_

_OH EM GEEE!!!!!!_

Everyone just stood there, mouth agape and eyes wide open. A few of the girls were blushing and looking down at their feet.

"I'm a bit insulted." He said, scowling. "My first day and already you guys are dissing me. Let's just hope your bite is as bad as your bark."

Ichigo scanned the new recruits with squinting eyes and snorted when he was done. Suddenly, he launched a rock at the nearest recruit's head and knocked him out. The fact that the kid wasn't able to dodge it or sustain the blow dissatisfied Ichigo. Ignoring the gasps and "WTF's?!?!?!?!?!" from the crowd, he flicked his head to the side, whispering "Bunch o' weaklings."

Ichigo began pacing back and forth while scratching his face with his right hand. He turned to the crowd and said, "Alright, by the looks of it, you all suck at most forms of combat. Don't worry though, by the time I'm finished with you guys, you may actually be able to hold your own ground. First things first, you need to meet your second-in-command. OI! RUKIA!"

From far away, Rukia flash stepped and appeared next to Ichigo, leaving a rising trail of dust behind her. She was wearing her lieutenant's armband and Shirayuki in her obi. Ichigo pointed his thumb towards his sub-ordinate.

"This is Rukia Kuchiki, or as you'll come to know her, Lieutenant Kuchiki. She looks sweet and dainty, but she's got a hot temper, so you better watch yourselves."

Rukia glared at her captain angrily and said, "Dope. I'll ignore the fact that you insulted me, but get this straight: I'm highly capable of introducing myself. I'm not a child."

"Well, with your height you could've fooled me." Ichigo said as he compared himself with Rukia using his left hand.

It wasn't that Rukia was small, it was just that… who am I kidding, she's small. But when put next to Ichigo she seems even more diminutive. This was one of the things she hated when she was with him.

"Shut up! You're such a jerk! Why do you keep making fun of my height? I'm taller than Captain Hitsugaya you know!"

"So is everyone else."

"Gah! You're such an insensitive bastard!"

"And you're such a whiny bitch!"

"For the last time, don't call me a bitch you ass!"

"Bitch!"

"Ass!

"Bitch!"

"Ass!"

As the two continued exchanging pleasantries, the confused recruits just looked at each other questioningly.

"Are they really together?" someone whispered.

"Maybe it's one of those love-hate relationships." another whispered back.

"Doesn't seem like it."

"Well… maybe more on the hate side than love."

"I wouldn't mind getting yelled at by him."

"Same here."

"My god, is every girl in Soul Society horny for him?"

"No, just the freaky ones."

Finally, someone spoke up.

"Um, aren't we supposed to start our training right now?"

Ichigo was now literally head-to-head with Rukia. Hearing a voice that wasn't his lieutenant's brought him back to reality. "Bi-, what? Oh yeah. Um… let's see…" he mumbled as he leaned away from Rukia. "Well, I guess we should start off with some basic combat techniques. Before I forget, has anyone here attained their zanpaku-to's shikai yet?"

Six people raised their hands.

"You there, what's your name?" Ichigo asked he pointed his finger at a girl raising her hand.

The small girl jumped back a little in surprise. "It's Nanami Kobayashi, sir!"

"Alright Nanami, come up here and show me what you can do."

Nanami moved her way through the crowd towards Ichigo and Rukia. She stopped in front of her commanding officers and pulled out her zanpaku-to from its sheath. She held the blade in one hand and the handle in the other. She shouted "Hae! Tsuinotori! (A/N: In Eng: "Fly! Twin Birds!" This isn't a direct translation, but it's the best I could do) Her zanpaku-to split into two discus shaped blades with handles in the middle.

Ichigo smirked and demanded, "Now attack me."

Nanami was shocked. "But captain, I can't hit you! What if you get hurt?"

"Ha ha, you sound almost like Rukia."

"Hey!" the petite lieutenant shouted.

"Oh, fine, sorry. Anyways, it's ok, I won't get hurt, trust me. Even if I do, I can take it. Don't worry, just take a deep breath and throw your zanpaku-to whenever you're ready."

Something in her captain's eyes reassured Nanami, and she threw her zanpaku-to at him. They flew at break-neck speed, but Ichigo easily deflected them. They returned to Nanami's hands and she threw them again… and again… and again… and again, with Ichigo dodging or deflecting them.

The other five who had achieved shikai went through the same embarrassing process. One of them even hurt themselves in the process. He had to have members 4th Division carry him off to the medical relief stations.

Quite annoyed, Ichigo spoke to the group. "See? This is what you guys need to work on. Your guys' zanpaku-to may look impressive, but without a strict battle strategy, you will _never_ win. I learned that the hard way." He started pacing back and forth again. "What we'll be working on first is a solid attack and defense. For these next exercises, everyone find a sparring partner. Since Kaito injured himself, one of you will have to partner with Lieutenant Kuchiki."

Rukia glared at Ichigo. "What the hell did I just talk to you about speaking up for me? And besides, I'm not that good at sword fighting, just kidou."

"Rukia, this is basic material. Nothing fancy, no parries, no intricate maneuvers, just regular sword fighting. And what was that talk we were having yesterday about 'Responsibility', huh?"

"Don't lecture me about ethics you unrefined cow."

Ichigo just twitched at her remark, but soon broke out into a rage when she started mooing and picking up grass with her teeth. By the time the two were done arguing, everyone had paired up. Ichigo stopped shoving Rukia's face into the ground and turned to his students.

He whistled with his fingers and yelled, "Oi! Everybody! Watch me and listen to my instructions. I will be demonstrating various attacks on this dummy next to me. And no, it's not Lieutenant Kuchiki."

A few snickered, but the rest remained silent since they saw that Rukia had just kicked Ichigo on the back... hard... onto the ground... He got back up, but paid no attention to her. He just picked up Zangetsu and pointed it towards his audience.

"This, as you may have guessed, is my zanpaku-to. Copy exactly what I do, and you'll soon know how to execute a basic attack. The first attack I'll show you is to simply swing your zanpaku-to towards your opponent, like so." Ichigo swung Zangetsu quickly and hit the dummy. The gigantic cleaver bounced off since the training object was made of dense spirit energy, rendering it nearly unbreakable.

"The next thing you should know is the counter to this attack. Again, very simple. Just hold your zanpaku-to vertically on your left, right, or front side, or hold it horizontally above you. This is the best defense against a swinging attack, next to parrying. Alright, now face your sparring partner. One of you go on offense, and the other on defense. After five minutes of practicing, switch positions. Ready? Go!"

The sounds of clashing swords echoed throughout the field along with screams of joy and excitement... for about ten seconds. Soon after they had begun, the recruits either dropped their zanpaku-to or had it knocked out of their hands. Ichigo began massaging his temples.

"You guys have got to be the sorriest bunch of shinigami I've ever seen in my life." Ichigo sighed and looked back at his group. "Pick up your zanpaku-tos, keep a good grip on it, and try again."

The same thing happened over and over again. Clash. Clang. Drop. Clash. Clang. Drop. Clash. Clang. Drop.

"Ugh, you guys are killing me. Alright… enough of the swordplay, we'll continue this tomorrow and hopefully make some progress. For now, let's have Lieutenant Kuchiki teach you some basic kidou."

"I'm going to kick your ass again if you keep talking for me."

"Just shut up and start teaching Rukia."

She gave him a swift kick in the shins and turned to the recruits. She showed the group a simple binding technique, and two destructive spells. Unfortunately, they stank at this as well. They would either say the wrong chant, resulting in them trapping or burning themselves, or say the wrong chant and trap or burn their friends. They practiced late into the afternoon, once going back to sword fighting since Ichigo got bored watching the young shinigami blow each other up. After much complaining, the tired graduates left for home from their first day of training with "Captain Strawberry" as he was now known.

Ichigo and Rukia were lying down together on the grass looking up at the golden sky slowly fading into the black night.

"Nice group of kids." Rukia told Ichigo.

"They're all idiots." he coldly replied.

"Oh, don't say that Ichigo. I'm sure that with time, they'll grow up into strong, suitable shinigami."

"They're gonna need one hell of an instructor for that."

Rukia merely sighed and went back to staring out into the sky. She remembered something that might lift Ichigo's grumpy mood.

"You know Ichigo, it's that time of the month."

Dumbfounded, the shinigami turned his head to look at his lieutenant.

"… Your period?"

Whack.

"No you idiot, think again."

Finally realizing what Rukia meant, Ichigo actually smiled a bit and let out a big breath of air.

"I can't wait to see them." he replied.

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**A/N:** Cliffhanger? Not quite, haha. Long chapter this one. Whatever, the more the merrier! 

In the last chapter, something happened to my sentence explaining why I don't reply to your reviews. The reason is that I'm too lazy to talk to all of you, ha ha ha. If you have any questions or concerns, I might include my reply before the beginning of each chapter.

So, I'm working on the next chapter, and I'll probably post it within two days… so… keep on reviewing! lol


	4. Departure

Hey hey hey everyone. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, been busy with certain affairs and whatnot. I'll try and keep these chapters coming fast, but I can't promise anything.

**Disclaimer:** For the last fricking time, I DON'T OWN BLEACH

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Ichigo got up from bed while it was still dark out and groggily changed into some casual robes. He wasn't the kind of person that would wake up before noontime, but today was different; today he was going back to the human world. It had been a month since Ichigo became an official shinigami, and part of that special arrangement was that at the end of every month, he was allowed to return to the human world and visit his friends and family for three days. This was the first time that he would travel from Soul Society back to his old home, and he had been looking forward to it after the first week of living in the Seireitei. He muttered a checklist to himself as he stuffed various items into a sack. 

Clothes? Check

Toothbrush? Check

Zangetsu? Check

Food? Check

Manga? Check

Condoms? Check

Before he Ichigo left on his trip, he thought he would pay a visit to Rukia and say goodbye. When he arrived at the Kuchiki mansion, he knocked on its massive doors and an elderly woman in white robes appeared before him.

"Yes?" she asked sleepily.

"Hi. Could I speak with Rukia Kuchiki?" Ichigo answered.

"Ah, yes, Captain Kurosaki, come in, come in." the servant replied while motioning for Ichigo to enter. "Might I ask why you have come so early in the morning?"

"I just wanted to say something to Rukia before I left for the human world." Ichigo said as he looked around the enormous dwelling.

"Well, I'm not sure that Miss Kuchiki is awake at the moment, but I don't think she will mind me waking her up, seeing that it is you."

The servant led Ichigo through countless hallways and bounding staircases before stopping in front of a large pair of doors. The old woman reached out to knock on it, but the doors suddenly opened on their own. There on the other side was Rukia in one of Yuzu's dresses, carrying a large knapsack on her back.

"Ichigo?" she said.

The servant was as startled as Ichigo and asked, "Miss Kuchiki! What are you doing up so early? And in such strange attire nonetheless!"

Rukia simply huffed and walked out of her room. "Relax Aiko, it's nothing. I'll just be accompanying Captain Kurosaki to the human world ."

"What? What are you talking about?" Ichigo said confusedly.

"In case you forgot, I have friends there that I haven't seen in awhile. Plus, I think I deserve a short break."

What about your brother? He wouldn't possibly let you come with me."

"Byakuya? I'll just leave him a note saying that I left Soul Society for matters dealing with the Arrancar. He'll buy it, there's nothing to worry about. That is, if Aiko won't say anything."

Rukia shifted her gaze to her servant who nodded in reply. She looked back at Ichigo and said, "Well, how 'bout it Ichigo?"

The captain just turned his back on her and started walking. "Meh, whatever, come on, let's get going."

Rukia smiled, said goodbye to Aiko, and caught up with Ichigo. The pair left the mansion just as the sun began rising over the horizon, slowly transforming the sky into a dark orange. They made their way over to 3rd Division to leave notes explaining their absence, and double checked their possessions. Once they were sure they had everything, they went to 3rd Division's training grounds with their Hell Butterflies. They opened the senkaimon (portal from Soul Society to the human world), but just as they were about to pass through, they heard a voice yelling in the distance.

"Hey! Wait up! Wait! Don't go!" it shouted.

From far away, Ichigo and Rukia knew immediately who it was. His recognizable spiky red hair was bobbing up and down as he ran, and he was waving his zanpaku-to to get their attention.

"Don't leave yet!" the young man screamed. He was completely out of breath by the time he reached Ichigo and Rukia.

"What the hell are you doing Renji?" Ichigo asked with a raised eyebrow.

Heavily breathing and trying to speak at the same time, Renji said, "I'm… going… to… go… with… you… guys…"

"Why? What do you need in the human world?" Ichigo asked.

"My business is my business Ichigo, keep out of it." Renji snapped

"Why can't you go on your own? You have a Hell Butterfly."

"Actually, Captain Kuchiki has mine, he doesn't want me traveling anywhere without his supervision."

"Won't you get in trouble then?"

"Nah. I told him that I would be going with you to the human world to check up on Arrancar activity."

Rukia smirked and said, "Great minds think alike."

Ichigo just scoffed at her remark. "Whatever. Just hurry up and gather your things, we're leaving right now."

"Don't worry, I've got everything I need." he said as he patted a small bag slung over his shoulders.

"Well, are we going or not?" Rukia asked impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah, we're going." Ichigo replied.

The three shinigami walked through the gate and ended up floating in midair over Karakura Town.

"Oh" Ichigo said.

"Crap" Renji added.

"Eeek!" was all Rukia managed to get out as the three plummeted down to the ground.

Boom!

Suddenly, dark enveloped the falling trio, and they were confined in a tight space.

Screaming and pandemonium ensued...

"Hey! Whoever that is, get your hand off my ass!" Rukia shouted.

"Shut up! Like I'd want to cop of a feel off you." Ichigo retorted.

"Will you idiots be quiet?!" Renji exclaimed.

"Eeek! Get your hands off my chest you pervert!"

Smack.

"Ow! Dammit! For the last time Rukia, I'M NOT FEELING YOU UP!"

A familiar voice cut through the darkness.

"Why hello there Mr. Kurosaki! Long time no see!"

The light shined brightly, revealing Urahara's magic carpet. Urahara himself was leaning over the piled up shinigami, waving his fan and smiling like an idiot. "My my, Mr. Kurosaki and Ms. Kuchiki, I never knew that you two were so intimate."

Ichigo and Rukia bolted up, both glaring at Urahara.

"And who is this little specimen right here?" Hat-and-clogs said as he poked Renji with his zanpaku-to.

"Get that damn thing away from me!" Renji shouted angrily, batting away the cane.

"Ooh, he's certainly a feisty one."

"Stop fooling around Kisuke. We appreciate the rescue, but-"

"How did you know we would be here?" Ichigo interrupted.

Urahara replied, "Oh, I just heard from Ms. Yoruichi that you would be stopping by for awhile, and I thought I'd greet you." He fanned his face even faster, grinned, and continued. "Well, now that the formalities are out of the way, it looks as though you are in need of some gigais. If I am correct, I still have a healthy supply at my shop, so off we go!"

The four flew off into the sunrise, keeping silent the whole way to Urahara Shoten.

* * *

**A/N:** Bah, lousy chapter. I'm considering to stop all my stories... they just suck... anywho... sorry for the un-updates everyone! I've been a vewy vewy bad boy. :( 


	5. Conversations and Confessions

A mighty big thank you to all my loyal reviewers who have inspired me to keep on writing. Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, but I've been in a writer's funk as of recently. That's why this chapter blows chunks.

Damn, I read over the last few chapters and I noticed a big mistake. Renji is supposed to be a captain, but in the last chapter it said Byakuya had his Hell Butterfly and all that. Damn damn damn! For the sake of the story, let's just make it so that Renji is still a lieutenant and he hasn't gone through the initiation ceremony yet... s'alright? S'alright. God I'm such an idiot.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach... sucka...

* * *

Ichigo was leaning against a shelf in Urahara Shoten with his arms crossed. He was pretty bored; considering he had been watching his friends get into their gigais for around an hour. Rukia, had an easy time getting into hers, but Renji was having some "technical difficulties" with his.

"Is there anything wrong Mr. Renji?" chirped Urahara.

"You made my ass look big, and my left leg is limp, but it's alright I guess." Renji said as he examined his body.

"Is this a normal gigai? Because I don't want a repeat of past events." Rukia questioned. She patted her body to make sure there wasn't anything "hiding".

"Not to worry Ms. Kuchiki, I wouldn't dare harm you. Your spiky haired friend is another matter."

Renji jerked his eyes from his butt to Urahara. "_What_ about me?"

"Nothing, nothing. Don't get your panties in a bunch." the bucket-hatted man said in a girlish tone. "Well, unless you need anything else, I bid you three adieu!" Urahara laughed heartily and fanned himself as he skipped from the room.

"Freak" was all Ichigo said. He picked himself up from the shelf and walked to the door. His friends took the hint and, after a few last pats, they left the shop. As the three walked to Ichigo's house, Renji spoke up. "I'm gonna go my own way now, so I'll meet up with you guys later." He walked a bit faster, then jogged, then started running.

Raising an eyebrow, Ichigo shouted to his friend. "Where the hell are you going Renji?"

"That's for me to know Strawberry! You two have fun!" the running broom-for-a-head retorted. Renji laughed like a madman and turned left into another street. Ichigo merely twitched his eyes as he and Rukia walked to the Kurosaki Clinic.

* * *

Knock knock knock.

"I'm comiiiiing!" shouted Yuzu as she put the lid back on her cooking pot.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"I'm coming I'm coming!" she shouted again, dusting herself off. Yuzu made her way to the door and hurriedly opened it.

"Yo." a lanky teenager said, smirking.

The small girl just stared in surprise and only said, "Ichi-"

"GOOOOOOOO!" cried Isshin. He jumped over Yuzu's head and swung his right leg at his son. Ichigo ducked, grabbed his dad's foot, and swung him back into the house. Isshin miraculously landed on a couch with only a sprained ankle and a lost shoe.

"I've been gone for a month and the first thing you do is try and kill me?!"

"Ah, good to see that being a paperworking captain hasn't softened you up!" Isshin replied, limping onto his feet. He looked at the short raven-haired girl standing next to his son and grinned. "Ah, Ms. Rukia! It's so good to see you again! How is my soon to be daughter-in-law doing? Any grandkids yet?"

"Shut up old man!" Ichigo, blushing a bit, threw his bag at his father, who promptly dodged it. It ended up hitting Kon (In Ichigo's body) in the head.

"Owwww... Ichigo... why must you be so cruel to me? I took good care of your body!" the mod soul whined.

"Crap... sorry Kon." Ichigo said as he rubbed the back of his head.

Isshin still wouldn't give up tormenting his son, despite the searing pain in his ankle. "So, how many times have you two done it? Did you make sure to use protection?

Even Rukia was blushing a bit, but Ichigo was just mad as hell.

"Why the hell won't you shut up!? Whatever happens to me in Soul Society is my business!"

The goat-man simply plastered a sly look on his face. "Ah, so something _did_ happen!" Isshin pranced about on his good foot, making his way over to the giant poster of Masaki. Sniffing, he hugged the blown up image of his wife and cried, "Oh Masaki! Our little boy is growing up so fast! Soon we'll be hearing wedding bells, then the pitter patter of little feet throughout the house!"

Rukia, who had remained silently blushing, threw her bag at Isshin as well, but actually managed to knock him down. "IT WAS ICHIGO!" she shouted as she pointed at the supposed perpetrator.

"Ugh, just be quiet Rukia. I appreciate the damage, but please just keep down." Ichigo plopped himself down on the couch where he had thrown Isshin and began rubbing his temples. After a few minutes, the insanity had died down and everyone, except for Yuzu who was cooking, was sitting down. Ichigo was getting uncomfortable seeing Kon in his body, so he moved back in and Kon went back to his old stuffed lion body.

"Hmm... I feel a little fatter... what have you been eating Kon?"

"Um... you like wagashi (A/N: Japanese sweets) right?"

"... Fatass..." Ichigo glared at the cowering toy and changed the subject. "So, I guess since we're all here, we might as well- wait, where's Karin?"

"She's out playing soccer with her friends and Chad." Isshin replied.

"Chad? Really? Since when have those two been hanging out?"

"Hmm... about the same time you left."

"Huh, didn't see that one coming. Well, I guess since _most_ of us are here, we might as well catch up."

Isshin began bombarding Ichigo with questions regarding Soul Society as soon as his son had finished his sentence. They were mostly about how the old captains were doing, if Hitsugaya was taking good care of his division, and if Ichigo and Rukia had hooked up yet. The latter subject got a few blushes and yells from the two. After being interrogated, Ichigo finally got to ask some questions of his own.

Ichigo leaned back into the sofa and scratched the top of his head. Truth be told, he was a bit bored and wanted to go see his friends. He figured, "What the hell" and started asking his dad a few questions. "Anything new happen lately?"

Kon rambled on about school, hanging out with friends, trying to pick up girls, and such. Ichigo finally got bored with the pervert and asked a question.

"So what's the whole situation on the Uryu and Orihime thing?"

Kon began bawling and said, "That nerd is going out with my Orihime! I can't bear the thought of someone like him, and not me, touching her!!! It's just not fair!!!" The stuffed toy stopped crying and suddenly perked up. "Oh well, at least I still have _you _Rukia!" He jumped off his seat and ran towards Rukia. He lunged at her chest but was promptly stopped by Ichigo's foot.

"STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HER!!!" he shouted as he kicked Kon across the room, where he hit a wall and dropped onto the floor.

The lion began sobbing again. "I had hoped it wasn't true, but you love her too! Why must God torment me so?!" Kon cried louder and started pounding the floor with his hand.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!?!?" Ichigo screamed as he stamped on Kon... repeatedly...

Isshin decided to break the silence between him and Rukia and asked her, "Is he always like this whenever someone mentions you two?"

Rukia blushed a bit and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about Mr. Kurosaki."

"C'mon, you mean you guys _still _haven't gotten together? Sheesh."

Rukia just got redder.

"Ah well, it's just a shame that you two haven't-"

Ichigo menacingly towered over his father. "YOU!!!" he said, pointing accusingly. "WHY WON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

Isshin merely looked uninterestingly at his son. "Jeez Ichigo, you don't have to get so worked up over me talking about your love life."

Ichigo tried to calm himself down a bit. "You know what. Fine. You can go on talking about whatever the hell you want. I'm outta here." The fuming strawberry walked up the stairs and disappeared.

Rukia, who had been sitting down watching the fiasco, finally spoke up. "Um... maybe I should go talk to him." Isshin nodded in reply.

Rukia walked upstairs and checked Ichigo's room. She didn't find him there, but in the hallway she noticed the door to the roof was open. She went up and saw Ichigo sitting near the edge, looking out at the street below. Debating whether it was a good or bad idea to talk to Ichigo, she finally walked over and sat down next to him. It was a bit uncomfortable sitting next to an angry Ichigo, but Rukia didn't care, she just talked like everything was perfectly normal.

"So what was that all about?" the violet-eyed midget asked.

"It was nothing, just drop it."

Rukia was getting a bit annoyed. "Ichigo, it wouldn't be nothing if you screamed like that. Just tell me what's wrong."

Ichigo sighed and looked down at the passing cars. "I just hate it when people say that we're a couple. It really gets on my nerves."

"Why? Is it really so horrible if they think we're together?" Rukia said disappointingly.

"It's not that, it's just... forget it, alright?"

"Oh... yeah... well, it's not like it's true anyways."

Ichigo was now red as a tomato. "Well... what if it was?"

Rukia's violet eyes suddenly went wide with shock. "W-What?"

"Rukia, the first time I met you, I thought that you were a whiny little runt that couldn't take care of herself."

Whack.

"Ow..." Ichigo complained as he rubbed his throbbing head. "Continuing from where I left off... Although we only spent two months together, it felt like years. Even then, you were still a stubborn, girly little-"

WHACK.

"DAMMIT!" Ichigo screamed, now using both of his hands to try and hold back the pain forming in his skull. "What the hell was that for?"

Rukia was glaring at Ichigo and said, "Can you talk for five seconds without insulting me?"

"Will you shut up, stop hitting me, and just listen?"

Rukia just "hmphed."

"Alright, Thank you. Even though you were-" Seeing Rukia's raised fist, he decided to hold back on the slanders. "God, you know what, I'm trying to be sentimental here, but maybe I should just cut to the chase."

"Does it include more insults?"

"No."

"Then by all means, continue." Rukia smiled brightly while Ichigo just eyed his lieutenant warily.

"Well, alright... Rukia, it's been two years since we met, and in that time, I've come to realize something..." Ichigo was on the verge of ripping his lips off just so he couldn't say another word.

"Yes?"

"I... I..." Ichigo was thinking how inviting the idea of jumping over the ledge was, but finished his sentence anyways. "I love you Rukia." Ichigo said, turning his head away to hide the massive blush on his face.

Something hit Rukia like a ton of bricks wrapped in lemon slices (A/N: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference), but she smiled and replied, "I-I love you too Ichigo."

Isshin, who was peeking his head out of the roof's doorway, cooed at the couple. "Awwwwwwwww!"

Ichigo jerked his head to see his father, Yuzu, and Kon enjoying the show. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?!?!?!" The three peeps shrieked and ran down the roof stairway, with Ichigo yelling at them. The angry teen decided not to run after them, and instead stayed where he was.

"I swear, sometimes I think I was adopted."

"I still think your family is fun."

Ichigo just rolled his eyes. "So I guess were officially a couple, huh?"

Rukia giggled and said, "Yep." She moved closer to Ichigo and rested her head on his left shoulder.

"Your brother's gonna kill me you know."

"He'll never know. We'll be working together so we'll always see each a lot, and there's nothing fishy about that."

"What if he catches us kissing?"

Rukia glared at the orange-haired teen and said mockingly, "Who ever said I'd kiss you?"

Ichigo didn't reply. Instead, he looked into Rukia's eyes and leaned in towards her face. Before she could back away or protest, his lips caught hers, and she just sat there staring at him. It took awhile for the shock to settle in, but she eventually returned the kiss. Rukia wrapped her arms around Ichigo's neck and pulled him in even deeper, but their sweet moment was suddenly cut short by an ear-splitting scream.

"Nooooo! Rukia! Don't make out with that loser!!!!!!!!! Kiss meeeeeee!!!!!!" Kon cried.

Ichigo broke away from Rukia and ran for Kon. "GET BACK HERE YOU PERVERTED STUFFED BASTARD!!!!!"

Rukia just sighed and thought to herself, "Idiots."

* * *

**A/N:** omg, I _**CANNOT**_ write fluff... it just doesn't work for me... By far, this has got to be my worst work EVER... but at least it's long...

Yeah, sorry for not updating in such a long time, but as you read in the beginning, I've been in a funk... plus I just got Guitar Hero II and that game kicks ASS... ahem... anyways... I think I'm going to have to expand the updates to 4-5 days. Sorry everyone! Here's a cookie! hands out cookies, but takes them back and eats them ... I'm fat... :(-OO 


	6. Catching Up

Hey everyone, or as they say in France, bon jour, vous americains embetes. Well, here it is, chapter 6. Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, but with school and whatnot, I couldn't find the time. I'll try and squeeze in as much writing into my schedule as I can.

Thanks for continuing to review! Although... I'm not getting as many reviews as I used to, so I ask all of you who read this, please, please, please, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! It's your reviews that keep me writing.

**Disclaimer: For the love of God, I DON'T OWN BLEACH!

* * *

**

Renji was walking shakily, as running from Ichigo had worn his gigai out a bit. He had noticed that for the last block or two, a little girl he was behind kept looking back and pointing at him. He dismissed it as childhood curiosity, but soon changed his mind as soon as he heard her talk.

"Ha ha! Look at the funny man daddy!" the little girl shouted. "He looks like a tomato covered in markers!"

Renji clenched his fists, leaving small red grooves on his palms. "Must... not... kill... the... tiny... bitch..." he kept telling himself over and over again.

"Why does his hair look like a broom daddy? And why does he have those lines all over his face? Is he blind and did he try to use a paintbrush?" the small girl asked.

"Stop it Kyoko! That's very rude!" the girl's father told her. He shot a glare at his daughter, who just kept looking on in confusion.

Renji's scowl turned into a satisfied smile and he loosened his death grip. "Ah, good old parental scolding. You tell her pops!" the redhead thought to himself.

"It's not polite to make fun of homosexuals!" the man explained.

Renji's tight grip returned and he was heavily grinding his teeth, "Must... not... strangle... bastard... and... his... tiny... bitch..."

Much to Renji's relief, the girl and her father turned right, while he continued walking forward. "God, finally, I was about to punch that goddamn brat's face in." he thought.

As he crossed an intersection, a little boy and his mother walked in front of him.

"Mommy? What's wrong with that man?" the little boy asked as he pointed at the tattooed man.

"Don't stare at the freak Kenta!" the woman told her child.

"What the hell is wrong with humans nowadays," Renji grumbled.

The shinigami just tried to drown out the child and his mother's insults with his own thoughts. That didn't work for very long. Fed up, Renji just ran to where he was heading, dodging pedestrians, street vendors, and vehicles along the way. He stopped at an apartment complex, panting and sweating heavily.

"Finally." he thought, wiping off the beads of moisture on his forehead.

Renji looked around to see if there was anyone he recognized. Assuring himself that no one was there, the lieutenant walked up a few steps and knocked on a small white door. Hearing footsteps approaching, he did some last second touches to his appearance, straightening out his shirt, combing his hair, and wiping his face clean. The door opened and a voice from the inside talked to him in a playful tone.

"Hey there, where've you been?" it asked.

Renji just smirked and entered the apartment, leaving the door slightly ajar.

* * *

Ichigo and Rukia were taking a casual stroll throughout Karakura Town's market area. A few people were dawdling around, but other than that the streets were deserted. Perfect. Ichigo needed to get away from his psychotic family and Rukia just enjoyed being outside. She had also secretly wanted to spend some time with Ichigo, though she would never tell him that.

Rukia suddenly perked her head up and looked around. "Did you hear that Ichigo?"

"Hear what?" he replied in a lazy tone, and kept on walking.

"Shush."

Rukia grabbed Ichigo's arm and pulled him back. He tried to protest, fearing that someone they knew would see them. She dragged him behind a small produce stand and kept her eyes focused on a mini-market directly in front of the fruit stand.

"How about peanut butter and onions?" a voice said cheerfully.

"Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick." another voice groaned.

"What was that?" the first voice asked.

"Uh, I said, that'd be delicious!"

"That's exactly what I was thinking!"

Rukia and Ichigo, or rather Rukia pulling Ichigo, crept towards where the voices were coming from and discovered who its owners were.

"Uryu? Orihime?" Ichigo and Rukia asked in unison.

The couple turned around to see their old friends standing behind a shelf.

"Ichigo! Rukia!" Orihime shouted. She dropped her bags full of food and ran over to hug the two shinigami.

Uryu just pushed his glasses up his nose and said, "Hello Ichigo, Rukia."

"Jeez, thanks for such a warm hello." Ichigo croaked. He could barely talk, much less breathe, thanks to Orihime's deadly embrace.

"How have you guys been?!" the auburn haired girl asked excitedly. Not hearing an answer, Orihime looked at her friends, only to find blue faces and foaming mouths.

"Eek! Sorry!"

She abruptly detached from the suffocating couple and proceeded to perform CPR on Ichigo.

"Gack! Get away! I'm fine, I'm fine!" the carrot-top proclaimed.

By now, Rukia was sitting upright, slowly regaining her breath. Ichigo held out his hand to help her up, and she blushingly accepted.

"So how has being a couple been?" Orihime asked out of the blue.

Ichigo let go of Rukia and she fell flat on her bottom.

"Wh-wh... how the did you find out..." Ichigo asked menacingly.

Uryu, who had remained relatively silent so far, said, "News travels fast when it's in the hands of your father."

"What the hell?" Ichigo shouted.

"Cell phone." Uryu stated flatly. He fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. He opened it up, pressed a few buttons, and showed Rukia and Ichigo a text message that Isshin had sent him. It contained a friendly hello and a message telling the Quincy how Ichigo and Rukia had hooked up earlier that morning. Rukia just lowered her head to hide a crimson face, while Ichigo's twitch returned.

"Goddamn old man."

"Oh, it's okay Ichigo, Uryu also gets mad whenever someone talks about us being together." the peppy girl said, smiling brightly.

If this were a manga or an anime, there'd be a tear drop on the side of Uryu's head.

Orihime went on as if nothing happened and asked, "So Ichigo and Rukia, why are you two here?"

"Break from our jobs." Rukia replied.

"That's great! How long will you be staying?"

"About three days. That is, if Rukia's stickler of a brother doesn't find out she's here with me." Ichigo said annoyingly.

"Well, we should get the old gang back together again! I'll call everyone to let them know you guys are here."

For some unknown reason, Orihime looked back at Uryu, only to find him pointing at the grocery bags.

"Oh! That's right! I have to cook lunch!"

She looked back at Ichigo and Rukia who were staring at the contents of the bags. Beans. Onions. Fish. Peanut butter. Oysters. Avocados. Peppers. A bag of sugar. What the hell was she making?

"Would you two like to have lunch with me and Uryu?"

Ichigo and Rukia's faces turned a sickly green and they both replied "No thanks."

"Aw, alright then."

Orihime picked up the bags she had dropped earlier and stood inside the store's opening. Uryu followed and was standing next to his... ahem... "Girlfriend".

"Bye you guys! See you later!" Orihime said as she waved madly.

"Goodbye Ichigo, Rukia." Uryu said nonchalantly.

The two walked off and Ichigo had just finished throwing up into a nearby trash bin.

"How that girl lives off her own cooking I'll never know."

"Oh, stop it Ichigo. It was nice seeing Orihime and Uryu again."

Wiping the remnants of vomit on his mouth, Ichigo said "Yeah, I guess it was." He squinted at a nearby street sign."You know, I think we're near Tatsuki's apartment, wanna go?"

Rukia nodded and replied "Yeah, do you know the way?"

"Uh huh, c'mon."

He led the way to the apartment complex where Tatsuki lived, which was only a few blocks from the shop they were at. The couple climbed a few steps when Ichigo noticed something different. The door to Tatsuki's apartment was halfway open.

"Odd." he thought. "She's never left the door open whenever I come over."

Ichigo knocked on the open door and quietly called out, "Tatsuki?"

He didn't hear a reply, so he decided the best course of action was to go inside and see what was going on.

"Ichigo! What do you think you're doing?" Rukia asked.

"It's alright, I know Tatsuki well enough for her not to beat the crap out of me for invading. Besides, it's not like her to leave the door open, much less not answer when I call her.

Rukia didn't argue and just followed Ichigo inside. They heard some voices coming from another room down the hallway. (A/N: I don't know the style of Japanese apartments, so I'm just following the layout of a typical American one... and from what I know, we have hallways, so meh! In Soviet Russia, hallways "meh" you! Ha ha.) Having no decency whatsoever, Ichigo opened the door to where he thought he'd find Tatsuki and nearly dropped his jaw at what he saw.

Tatsuki.

On the wall.

Sitting in Renji's lap.

"Ichigo? Where are you?"

Rukia came running into the room and dropped her jaw along with Ichigo.

Renji shot up, shoving Tatsuki off, and shouted "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!"

"What's wrong with you Ren-... Ichigo? Rukia?" Tatsuki asked as she stood up, lightly blushing.

The two couples just stood there, staring at each other wide-eyed.

* * *

**A/N:** Hehe, bit of a cliffie. Hope you don't mind the couple, but I couldn't resist. I mean, they're alike, aren't they? They fight, they both had childhood friends, and... uh... some other stuff, haha. I kinda liked this chapter, had fun writing the whole Renji/child insults scene.

Anyways, I'm sorry again for not updating in quite awhile, but schoolwork is piling up and I've got to study for a certain national competition. I'll try and write as much as I can, but I won't be able to update as often as I used to... I'm sorry...


	7. Saturday, In the Park

Wow, this chapter didn't take me that long to write... well, not as long compared to the last few.

I've noticed that not many people review my fic anymore. If you've read this, please review. Your reviews are the things that inspire me to keep on writing. So please review!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Bleach, yada yada yada...

* * *

Awkward...

could not even begin to describe the air in room.

"Er... uh..." stuttered Renji.

Tatsuki picked herself up off the floor and looked sternly at Ichigo and Rukia.

"You saw nothing here, correct?"

The two nodded in agreement.

"Good. Now if you two will kindly leave and forget everything that happened in the last five minutes, I won't have to kick your asses."

Ichigo slowly inched toward the door, with Rukia following. They continued down the hallway and to the front door, while Renji and Tatsuki were watching their every move. Once they had reached the outside, Renji slammed the door shut on them.

"Heh..."

"Heh heh..."

"Heh heh heh..."

"Ha ha ha ha..."

"Ha ha ha, BWA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Ichigo and Rukia stumbled down the steps, laughing maniacally. Renji watched them through the window and was about to give them a piece of his mind when Tatsuki put her hand on his shoulder.

"We'll get them later." she snarled.

Renji just continued to scowl as his friends walked off. He would make them pay if it was the last thing he ever did.

* * *

"Oh dear lord, I swear, I've never seen anything so hilarious in my life!"

The shinigami were skipping through town like drunken idiots, giggling all the while.

"Ha ha ha, this'll make for an interesting story when we get back to Soul Society."

"I still hate myself for not bringing a camera, ha ha ha ha!"

The couple continued walking home in their drunken stupor, attracting many stares and snickers from bystanders. After a few moments of complete hilarity, the laughter died down.

"Hmm..." mumbled Ichigo as he looked at his watch.

Rukia stopped her incessant laughing and glanced over at her captain. "What is it Ichigo?"

The carrot-top continued looking at the watch and said "Oh, we've just got some time to kill before lunch. What do you wanna do?"

Rukia was a bit surprised at Ichigo for actually taking an interest in what she wanted to do.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked supiciously.

"I'm fine, now hurry up and choose something before I do."

Rukia began scrambling her brain for possible ideas. She had let Ichigo pick a fun activity before, and it wasn't pretty.

Back in Soul Society, during Ichigo's first week as an official shinigami of the Gotei 13, he used to smash rocks with Zangetsu to pass the time.

…Fun…

He once brought Rukia along to come break rocks with him, and she ended up getting knocked out from an airborne fragment of a boulder that Ichigo had smashed.

Mind numbingly fun.

"How about over there?" Rukia said. She pointed to her left at a large park.

"Alright." Ichigo replied.

They walked across an intersection and followed a path down to a small lake. Rukia suddenly went hyper and jumped onto a lightly blushing Ichigo.

"LOOK ICHIGO! LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK!" she shouted excitedly as she waved her finger at a group of bushes.

"What, what, WHAT!?!?!?" Ichigo shouted.

"Over there!" she exclaimed.

Ichigo squinted his eyes and saw a white blur move through the leaves.

"What the hell is it?"

"What do you think, fool?"

"Hey, shut up!"

"No, you shut up! Don't scare it away!"

"What _is_ it?"

"What do you think?"

Ichigo was about to answer when he noticed that he was holding Rukia in his arms. Blushing madly, he dropped her onto the ground, shrieking a bit. The petite shinigami landed with a light thud, causing the white apparition to disappear.

"No!" Rukia shouted.

"Psh. Whatever." Ichigo scoffed.

"Look what you did Ichigo! You scared the rabbit away!"

Ichigo got something of a "WTF?!?!" look on his face and his lips were quivering.

"A... rabbit?" he asked. "You were going psycho over a rabbit? What the hell is wrong with you and your stupid rabbit fetish!?!?"

Rukia stood up on her tiptoes to match Ichigo's height and leaned in her face towards his.

"It... is... not... a... FETISH!" she said, poking him in the chest after each word.

Rukia saw something out of the corner of her eye: the rabbit. She pushed Ichigo aside and ran after it.

"Come back! All I want to do is keep you in a cage and pet you until you die!" she shouted at the sprinting animal.

"Dammit Rukia, stop chasing after the stupid rabbit!"

Ichigo ran after Rukia, but after only the two or three steps, he tripped and fell forward, grabbing onto Rukia's shirt and dragging her down with him. A shout and a kick later, the shinigami were in the same position they were nearly a week earlier... with the exception of Ichigo's hands on Rukia's... ahem... you get the idea.

"I-Ichigo..."

The carrot-top just stayed there, hovering above Rukia. Little did the raven-haired lieutenant know that Ichigo was having the fight of his life.

"Kiss her dammit!!!" Devil Ichigo said.

"No Ichigo, that would be perverted and immoral." Angel Ichigo retorted.

"Shut up you fruity ass pansy! Don't listen to him Ichigo, just pucker up and start sucking on that face!"

"You know what, you stay the hell out of this! You bring nothing but trouble!" the angel said angrily.

"Oh, I'm sooooooo scared! Little Mr. Prissy Pants here is going to kick the crap out of me! Someone heeeeeelp!" The small devil jerked his head to face Ichigo. "Just hurry up and kiss Rukia dammit!"

"Who are you calling Prissy you red assed masochist!"

"What did you call me?!?!"

"You heard me Senor Sodomize!"

"Oh that's it, you're going DOWN!"

The two spiritual "guides" flew off of Ichigo's shoulders and started slapping each other.

"Narcissistic gaylord!"

"Pompous buffoon!"

While the sounds of war echoed throughout Ichigo's head, he moved his face ever so slowly toward Rukia's. He tried to resist, but he just couldn't help it: Rukia was just so damn beautiful. She was also damn impatient. Deciding that Ichigo was taking too long, Rukia grabbed onto his shoulders and pulled herself up, closing the gap between their lips.

_Click._

Unbeknownst to the kissing couple, two shadowy figures were lurking in the bushes where the rabbit had been. Psychotic giggles and snorts could be heard coming from the dark recesses of the plants.

"I said I'd get you, and now I finally have. Lot quicker than I expected." one shadow said.

"Wow, look at them go at it." the other shadow said.

"Like a pair of wild animals..." the first shadow said.

"Even we're not this affectionate."

"Thank god, this is just creepy."

* * *

**A/N:** Dum, dum, dum! Ha ha. Well, sorry this chapter is so short, but schoolwork and blah blah blah. I'll try and post chapters like this because it seems I get them done faster than other ones.

Again, if you've read this, please review! My alerts have been going down a bit... and that makes me a saaaad panda.


	8. Author's Note

I guess I should offer some closure on this.

Simply put, I wish to not continue on this story anymore. The more I read it the more horrible I realize it is, and would rather try to write a new story that has a much more thought out plot and a more sophisticated writing style.

Too all of you who read and reviewed this, you have my heartfelt thanks and appreciation. I am sorry that I won't be finishing this story, but I feel that I can write much better material than this, which isn't saying much, but nevertheless, I will be trying to work on a new story that I hope you will all be looking forward to.

I'll post an update of when the new fic is ready to go out, but in the mean time, please bear with me and believe me when I say that I'll be posting soon.

**_Until then,_**

**_- Kyle (BeatleBomb) Rogacion_**


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